Half a Lifetime, A Whole Life
Executive summary: Happy “Christmas Eve in July” to my one and only. I was on this earth for 6,529 days before we officially started dating, and today marks 6,529 days together since then.
Another personal update alert: As of today, I have been with my husband for exactly half my life. Sometimes, even the memories from 17+ years ago feel like they’re from yesterday, and sometimes, like they’re from lifetimes ago. I think it’s because some things still feel the same, while other aspects of our lives are completely different and have gone through multiple iterations. Even though there have been many crossroads and challenges that could have separated us since we were 17, our relationship has never faltered (that’s not to say that some days aren’t harder than others!) It all started half a lifetime ago, and my life has been more whole than I could’ve ever imagined.
College sweetbarts. Get it? (Probably not, unless you’re familiar with Bay Area transit)
Photo credit to my college roomie Lisha Wang, who encouraged/ forced us to let her take an engagement photoshoot. It turned out to be the right decision.
We met three days after high school graduation (in completely different parts of California) by attending the same college orientation at Berkeley. This was the chance encounter that changed everything for us. Long story short, we got engaged at 20 (on “Christmas in July,” in fact) and married at 21 (right after graduation) on the 4th anniversary of our meeting at orientation. Over the years, we’ve worked really hard to maximize our chances of staying together geographically so that we’d never have to go long distance. Not that our relationship couldn’t have survived some temporary separations, but emotionally it would’ve been painful. So we worked our a$$es off to look attractive to grad schools and employers, and luckily we were able to land combinations that kept us together again and again. From me choosing a finance job in SF after college and hubby getting his PhD at Stanford, to moving to the East Coast for my MBA and hubby doing his postdoc also at MIT, to me joining McKinsey’s NJ office and hubby becoming a professor at Princeton after grad school, we’ve managed to finagle our endeavors so that we could stay together through every stage. We’ve lived in 8 cities together since leaving for college as we’ve pursued our educations and careers, including multiple in the Bay Area and a few on the East Coast while we were out there for almost 7 years. Since COVID, we’ve been back in the Bay and are thrilled that we now get to call it our “indefinite home” (hubby just accepted a professorship at Stanford — see the full post here).
Perhaps we are finally settling down after 1 postdoc, 2 kids, 3 internships, 4 diplomas, 5 crossroads, 6 jobs, 7 years on the other coast, and 8 cities.
So here we are, almost 18 years later, back to where it all started half a lifetime ago. We’re in a completely different stage of life now, with family as our main focus instead of career, but what hasn’t changed is our affection, admiration, and appreciation for each other. The dynamics of our relationship have shifted for sure, from two college kids growing into adults to two parents engaging in what feels like daily 1-on-1 hand-to-hand combat with our offspring, but we are more of a team than ever. I never forget how fortunate we are that our efforts to stick together through every twist and turn have paid off, and that we’ve been able to be there for each other every step of the way since literally the day we left our childhood homes. My husband is my best friend, my secret weapon, and my life’s anchor. Obviously no one expects to meet their future spouse at college orientation, but I give it five stars. =)